The day I’ve always dreaded has arrived. My IQ has begun to fail me! Is this coincidence at having been with my current employers for four years? I had to investigate… My investigation took me to the webpage http://www.edu-cyberpg.com/Internet/e-mail/iq.html, which cites constant bombardment of e-mails; texts and telephone calls as a possible cause for falling IQ. Indeed, this article, continues that these sources could cause more problems than smoking cannabis. That’s that sorted then, I’ll give up technology and spend my days in drug induced meditation.

It’s not all bad though. My falling IQ levels frees me up to act like an idiot as much as I wish. I can even argue that it’s no longer an act. This small fact alone may keep me going until the day that I no longer care about whether I can still pass this test.

Why does it bother me? Frankly, I think it’s because the IQ test is possible the only test I ever had a chance of passing…

Why are they always men?

More to the point, why can't they be me? I'm talking about the people who eat and eat and never put on an ounce! Some of us, myself included, can put on weight by walking past a cake shop! Then you get these people, and face it, they usually are men, who munch their way through the day and put on not even an ounce from one years end to the next.

What kind of sense of humour does our Goddess have that she makes this type of a mockery of us? I wouldn't min too much if it weren't for the fact that all the beautiful clothes I see in the shops are made for slim women who stand at least seven foot tall.

I'm not fat, well, not that you'd tell at a glance, but if you were to put my stats into any of the BMI converters on the web you'd find I'm obese. I don't buy that for a second! Yes, I'll agree I'm over weight. Yes I'll concede that I need to take care before it all gets out of hand, but there is absolutely no way in this world or any other that I can possibly be classed as obese! But I am. Four different websites have told me so, it must be true.

How I work it is, my body tells me what is and what's not. My body has told me all my life that I'm short. That I can't do anything about, so I accept that. However, from time to time, my body screams FATTY! and rejects fattening food. No, seriously, I go right off things like chocolate and cake and end up eating just half the amounts that I normally eat. Oh and I'll crave salad. Then there are times when I've been sitting around doing very little for weeks and weeks and my body, all by itself, with no help from me, I swear, gets up and starts exercising. Usually yoga or walking, but it's almost like I'm possessed!

All these wonderful fail safe mechanisms, you'd think that I'd be a skinny little wench wouldn't you? It just doesn't work that way, and it's the scales I blame. I go through these cycles of mad crazed health freak and make the mistake of jumping on the scales a few weeks later, the scales say "hey, looking good. Have you lost weight?" and my brain says "Oh, you're right, I'm fading away to a mere shadow of my former self, better rectify that." Urgh!

So it all starts again.

Ah you see, just exactly what I was talking about yesterday. I have a very dear friend who has recently been diagnosed with an immune deficiency disorder. She has spent the last few months in near crippling pain in most of her joints. The symptoms are much the same as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Last night she came round for some Reiki and after the treatment she reported that all pain had gone. This is the point where I say a huge “thank you” to who or what ever facilitates such success.

Before you go jumping off your seat and reaching for the telephone to contact me as a fantastic healer you really should know that this is not me. I am not a healer, I am merely a channel for the healing energy. Anyone can do it. Just as we are all born with the ability to be psychic, we are all born with the ability to heal. Indeed, as I’ve said before, it is the client who determines how much energy is received during a Reiki session. Does this then, not prove that it is the client who is essentially providing the healing?

This also begs the question “do we really care?” Not that I mean that derogatory, but do we really care where it comes from when it actually works? Alright, I know, there are a lot of people who still think that the devil could be working lovely miracles to dupe people, I very much doubt it myself as I don’t believe in the devil.

My first love in complimentary therapies is Reiki. So much so I’ve got myself four or five Reiki Master Certificates. Each discipline differs slightly in its teaching but it all comes back to the same thing, the Universal Light Energy provided by the divine. No, don’t worry, I’m not going all religious on you. A mistake I think a lot of people make when they become involved in this type of life style is that they believe they must suddenly become aloof and lose their sense of self together with their sense of humour. Personally I don’t think that’s what the divine is looking for. I came to Reiki after studying the Qabala. That’s the Kabala with a Q, which separates it as the quest for knowledge of all things hidden (the occult). In its teachings we find that the God wanted to know itself and split itself in order to gain knowledge. To this end, everything in the Universe then is part of the divine and every experience unique, it is this unique experience that the divine wants. Now, my point is, if we follow the path of any “discipline” that changes the personality how is it possible to take a unique experience back to the Universe? So. When we begin to follow these paths we should be extremely careful not to emanate our teachers to the exclusion of our own personality.

Each Reiki Master will discuss with their students their recommended method of building the energy that is channelled as Reiki. I try to be open minded about this and offer as many methods as possible to my students allowing them to try as many avenues as they wish before deciding which works best for them.

So, what does Reiki do? Good question. My answer is generally, what do you want it to do? I’ve seen Reiki heal problems that medicine couldn’t. Does this make me a healer? Nope. I am just a vessel, if the divine energy wishes to use me to bring about a healing then well and good. Not everyone will be healed by Reiki. The energy that is drawn into the client is decided by the client. Don’t worry though, that doesn’t mean you need to believe in it for it to work. Just not so. My best results have been for people who are the biggest sceptics you could hope to meet.

One of the things that most clients report is that the energy continues to build through the body for days, sometimes weeks, after a treatment. So, someone with backache may feel an immediate relief, but a week later they may realise that the pain has completely gone!

The greatest thing that Reiki does is to relax the mind and to bring the mind, body and soul together. All too often we are all over the place because the three aspects of our lives are off in different directions. Once they come together we are able to function and focus better on our lives.

I find that Reiki is also extremely useful for people who are terminally ill. If you can imagine being given a “death sentence” by the doctor and you’re not ready or prepared to move on there is going to be a huge conflict. As I’ve already discussed, we are each here to take our unique experience into the divine, but it worries me that taking a negative experience of leaving the world may, in turn, have a negative affect on the divine. Reiki helps us to accept the cycle of life and to let go when the time is right.

Vets practice euthanasia all the time where quality of life is deemed to be so low and the animal is suffering so badly that it is inhumane to keep them going. Like any other animal lover, I fully agree with this concept. I could never justify sitting back and watching my favourite pet suffer unnecessarily. The question is why do we insist on treating our fellow humans so differently? Surely if we are capable of seeing the injustice of retaining a poor quality of life for small animals we must be able to see the same for those born into our own species?

The point is that once the quality of life is no longer there and each day blends into a metamorphosis of the previous, all hope is gone. Would you wish to carry on with such an existence, day, after day? If the answer to this question is “no”, then perhaps you should consider petitioning your MP in the campaign to legalise euthanasia for council employee.

I was recently asked the following questions and thought I’d blog the answers fro future use.

1. If you were to fully live your life, what is the first change you would make?

A. Time management would be a big thing for me. I’m getting better at it with my home life, but I always feel there’s room for improvement.

2. What do you want more of in your life?

A. George will think the answer to this is going to be ice cream, but it’s not. There are a few things I’d like more of so here’s the list:

1. Sunshine the sun doesn’t shine nearly enough in WL although it’s shining today.
2. Time:
2a. with the people I love
2b to study what I want to know about
2c to help people in need

3. What do you want less of in your life?

A. Again, a list of things, they kind of mirror the above:

1. Rain, I know we need it, but I’d like to wear footwear other than wellies from time to time.
2. Work. So long as it doesn’t affect my income J
3. Pressure. I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that there is so much needs my attention that I feel drawn in all directions.
4. Debt. Not that I’m as skint as the tooth fairy, but wouldn’t it be nice to be able to keep what you earn every month instead of having to shelf it out on stupid stuff like insurances?

4. What three things are you doing regularly that don’t serve or support you?

A. You know, I really can’t think of one? By our very nature we don’t do anything that doesn’t serve or support us. It may well be that it’s negative, such as always picking up after someone, but in the end, we do these things because we want to not because we have to. It makes us feel better, not the other person.

5. What would you try now if you knew you could not fail?

A. Ah this is an easy one. I’d open a Complimentary Therapy Studio in Edinburgh. We would offer therapy to those who could afford it and free treatments to those who genuinely can’t.

My youngest grandson started big school today. He was surprisingly happy about it, perhaps that goes to show what a good idea it is to have them at nursery.

His dad came all the way up from England to see him start school. Oupa was there and Great Granny, not to mention Mummy. I couldn't make it, sorry my little goblin, like I said, I have to work so that I can pay the tax man who sends money to Santa for your presents every year.

This year Santa has been placed on the bottom of the payroll, which means that everyone has to work extra hard to pay for all his expenses, and there are lots of them. You know, the Elves union this year have demanded and increase above inflation to bring them up to the national minimum wage. Have you ever heard the like? What do Elves need money for? Everything they could ever need is given to them by the faries.

Elvis, the head of the Union, has insisted that it's only fair, whether they use money or not, that they get some, they're only human after all. So, here I am, working my little fingers to the bone to pay Santa to pay some Elves who will never use the money they get.

hope you have a wonderful first day at school my little goblin.